8 Things I Learned in my Twenties

“While important events take place from birth through death, those that determine the years ahead are most heavily concentrated during the twenty-something years.” – Meg Jay, psychologist and author of The Defining Decade.

I’ve definitely found that to be true! I feel like I experienced so many pivotal events in my twenties, both positive and negative, that shaped me into who I am now. Here are the eight biggest things that I’ve learned from my twenties (still learning to master them too!)…

1. Find contentment and happiness where you’re currently at. I chased a few dreams and told myself if I achieved something new, or if my circumstances changed in a small way, then I would be happy.

I realize now how unhealthy that is. What you’ll find is that there will always be another thing to achieve and you will never allow yourself to be happy if your happiness depends on one future achievement or goal. Be grateful for what you have NOW while you strive for what you want. Otherwise you will end up chasing things into a dead end your whole life.

2. Own your mistakes and admit when you screw up. We all fall short but if you work on humbling yourself and admitting when you make a mistake, it will help build strong character. I’m not afraid to apologize or to fail, but I’m working on giving myself grace and not guilt when I do.

3. Quality over quantity. This goes for a lot of things – friendships, savoring food in smaller portions, clothes, makeup, things in my home, etc. In my twenties, I had an excess of acquaintances instead of a few close friendships, way too many clothes, products, and things in my home that I didn’t use.

4. Live simply. This goes hand in hand with quality over quantity. Becoming a mom has made me appreciate simple things like staying in and watching a movie, fresh recipes with a short list of ingredients, or taking a walk outside with an iced coffee in hand. I think it’s a great skill to learn to live minimally.

5. Create healthy habits NOW. We have one body, one life, and one chance to take care of ourselves. I remember feeling a bit invincible in my twenties, but I knew if I didn’t take care of myself it would catch up with me in my thirties. Prioritize your health so you can live a long, satisfying life.

6. Continually invest in yourself mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Never stop learning. Seek wisdom so you can become the best version of yourself. When you learn continually, you will never be bored and your wisdom will positively impact the lives around you.

7. Experiences are a million times better than things. This is why I want to travel and create lasting memories with my family. I’d rather have money to try new things and go new places than a larger home with nicer things in it. I cherish time spent with people I love over any item – no matter how lavish it is.

8. Don’t just push yourself outside your comfort zone on occasion, try to live outside your comfort zone. Life is too short to be scared and not try new things or take risks. As someone who lives with anxiety, I choose to do things afraid or I will never do them. I’m constantly pushing myself because I refuse to let my anxiety put myself in a box. If I can do it, you CAN do it.

Author: Kelley Spencer

Kelley is a Christian author, gardener, recovering perfectionist, overthinker, mental health advocate and mother of two boys (and one angel) living in the Midwest. She loves tacos, being active outside and planning weekend getaways. Her story, Radical Obedience, was published by Dayspring in Sweet Tea for the Soul. Kelley has God-sized dreams of publishing several books and Bible Studies designed to reach others for Christ in their most vulnerable, painful circumstances.

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